Habits - do we really know we have them?

We are creatures of habit – I’m sure we’ve heard that said before. The interesting thing about that statement is the idea that maybe we have choice in that habit we are a creature of. Often I don’t think we do. I see this in relationship counselling. Couples come to counselling because something is not working, they’ve grown apart, lost interest in each other, argue and many other reasons.
The habit part comes into it when together in counselling we try and explore why these problems have arisen. That’s when it’s good to look at the past. So much of what we learn in life, particularly the way we interact with others, we learn from a very early age. They say that by the time we are 2 years of age, we have just about seen everything we will ever see in life (trees, cars, the ocean, people etc). There is also the saying that ‘show me the child at 7 and I’ll show you the adult’. Again it’s an indication that we learn habits very early in life. Now by habits here I mean how to deal with things. Our biggest teachers are our primary caregivers – often our parents. As children we soak their behaviours up like sponges. How are they talking to each other? How do they react to each other? Do they argue a lot? Do they show a lot of love? What habits do they have? Does dad sulk when they have a disagreement? Does mum burst into tears and go to her mothers? These observations we often make without realising it and take with us into adulthood and become our habits to some degree. Counselling helps create a better awareness of these habitual patterns of behaviour so that they can be changed where needed.